CHAPTER 8
Shannon: Fortunately the car was there!
Jared: Whoa...nice. And I'm sorry Shannon.
Shannon: It's alright mate, let’s go.
Jared, Shannon & the girls went home while Tomo returned at his house.
After a few days, things had been settled down and Jared wasn't angry with girls any longer.
Jared: Sophie, you've been dating this guy for a long time, right?
Sophie: Well we break up & make up all the time but I guess...yeah.
Jared: I think I should get to know him. Bring him here tonight for dinner!
Anna: And who's exactly going to prepare the dinner?
Muna: Forget about me. I’ll be too busy laughing at Sophie.
Sophie glared at Muna.
Sophie: Dad I don't think that's a good idea...
Jared: Why? It will be fun, is it bad that I want to know with what kind of guy is my daughter?
Sophie: No, it's not bad but come on! I am 18, not 25, it's not like we're getting married or something. Besides...it's gonna be too awkward.
Jared: Your dad never makes things awkward. Tonight at 8 o’clock. End of the story.
Sophie closed her eyes and whispered 'Someone give me strength'.
Muna: Excellent! I will clean up the house, Anna will you prepare the dinner?
Jared: Ha, since when you girls decided to realise you actually live in a house?
Anna: Since you are meeting Sophie's boyfriend! You're gonna love him.
Anna started laughing.
Later that day, while everything was prepared Jared, Shannon & of course Tomo alongside with the girls waited for Sophie and her boyfriend to come.
Shannon: Dude you're nervous.
Jared: I'm not nervous!
Tomo: You are going up and down and you are scratching your head. Well you're nervous.
Jared: Uh uhh...I...it's nothing.
The bell rang.
Anna opened up the door and Sophie with her boyfriend, Josh stepped in. She introduced him to the whole family and they headed to the dining room to eat dinner.
Josh: The food is pretty good!
Muna looked at him.
Muna: Are you serious?
Anna: Finally someone who appreciates my cooking skills.
Shannon: Your what?
Anna: Uncle, remind me to buy you a yellow leather jacket at next New Years Eve.
Jared: Anna..! (Jared took a look at Josh) ...so Josh what kind of music are you into?
Josh didn't talk for some seconds.
Josh: Frank Sinatra is cool.
Jared: Frank Sinatra?
Tomo: Come on man, Frankie? A legend!
Tomo smiled.
Shannon: Only Sinatra?
Josh: Amy Winehouse too, I like her!
Jared: Amy Winehouse?
Shannon: She is pretty....good...yeah talented. Nice voice.
Jared remained silent.
Tomo: What else what else? We love music.
Shannon: ...A lot.
Tomo: Yeah so much that we could also have a band, right Shannon?
Shannon: You're so right, Tomo, you're so right.
Josh: I know you have a band. They are called (Josh gave a questioned look at Sophie) ...30 seconds to Mars?
Tomo clapped.
Tomo: Yeah! Do you know any Mars tune?
Josh: Mars tune?
Shannon: He means 30 seconds to Mars tune.
Josh: Oh...well I've heard a couple of songs, can't really remember them though. I don't really listen to that kind of music, sorry...
Sophie looked at her plate.
Jared: It's alright, we love all the people. And the ones who listen to Sinatra and Winehouse.
Sophie: Dad!
Jared: What did I say sweetheart? So Josh...don't wanna be the typical father and I don't want to ask you all these silly questions like if you work, if you have siblings, where did you go to school, if your parents are working or not but if you insist on answering them, I will not refuse.
Josh: There's no need to...
Jared: Son, I can see it in your eyes, go ahead, don't be afraid.
Josh: No really I don't...
Jared: I SAID, you may answer.
Josh sighed.
Josh: I'm teaching French to kids, so I get money yeah. My parents are both pianists, so I play the piano too and I was at the same school with Sophie. And no I don't have siblings.
Tomo: So you speak French, you play the piano, you listen to Sinatra & Amy Winehouse. Are you sure you're dating Sophie?
Sophie: Tomo!!
Tomo stroked his beard.
Shannon: Uh...I think we're done with the dinner. How about playing a game?
Everyone stood up and went to the living room.
Anna: So what kind of game, uncle?
Shannon: I've got Taboo here, what ya think?
Tomo: I'm in!
Muna: Me too!
Jared: I'll swallow this too.
They were separated in 2 teams, Tomo Shannon & Jared as the grown ups and Josh, Muna, Anna & Sophie.
Shannon: Right...errm the word we're looking for is...well how can I say this. Jared has dyed his hair this way.
Tomo: Is this supposed to be a HINT??
Muna: Time's running!!
Tomo: Dude, Jared has dyed his hair every colour.
Jared: You're wrong! I'm missing the purple one.
Josh: SERIOUSLY??
Jared stopped smiling and looked at him.
Jared: Yes.
Shannon: Uh...it was a recent one.
Jared: Uh brown, blond, uh blue...
Shannon: BLUE! We got it!
Tomo: Your turn, kids.
Anna: Alright so that's kinda easy...we don't have this. Actually we the girls.
Muna: Good grades?
Sophie: Good behaviour?
Anna: NO no, something more...unique. It’s a person!
Muna: Mum?
Anna: Right, got it!
At that moment, Josh started crying.
Josh: Why did you say that word?
Josh kept crying.
Tomo: As far as I know the word 'mum' is not supposed to be a bad...
Josh: DON'T SAY THIS WORD!
Shannon: Tomo, bring the tissues!!
Tomo: Why am I supposed to always get things?
Tomo went to the kitchen.
Sophie: What's wrong, hun?
Meanwhile Jared was biting his lip & was tweeting via his blackberry: 'Awkward moment at the house. Girls...never say the word 'mum' when you introduce your boyfriends to your parents.'
Sophie: Dad, what are you doing there?
Jared: Uh nothing, just reading some emails...
Sophie: Dad, Josh is not okay! Turn this thing off!
Jared: Oh of course, Josh what's wrong with your...mum?
Josh: UHHHHHH (all crying) please Mr. Leto, don't make it harder UHHHHHHH (all crying again) THE TISSUES mister Tomo!!
Tomo started cursing on the low.
Tomo: Here you are, mummy boy.
Josh: UHHHHHHHH uh uh uh sniff sniff thanks for the tissues, mister Tomo, but please don't say this again.
Jared: Boy, I start losing my patience. Please tell us what's wrong with that goddamn word.
Josh: Well...because of muh-muh-muu-my you know who, I've become like this. I hate French, I hate the piano, and I hate wearing those horrible preppy clothes. I look like...
Shannon: A lovely Barbie.
Shannon smiled.
Josh: You can put it this way.
Sophie: I knew this day would be a disaster, but not so much of it. Seriously Josh, you hadn't told me anything?
Josh: I don't know...
Shannon: Okay dude I'll tell you what. Fuck your mum, oops sorry, your you know who. You’re coming tomorrow here, we'll put you a big Mohawk, we'll teach you some serious stuff about actual music, and we'll teach you some slang. Dude you are not in Nashville anymore.
Josh looked at Sophie.
Josh: And what about my....you know who?
Josh started crying again.
Jared: What about her again? Get her here and we can talk about this! Call her now.
Anna: Dad are you serious? This is a family issue.
Jared: You gotta be kidding me, this boy here just told you! You! Think about it again.
Anna: Alright, Josh call your mum! Ooops sorry the woman who took you out of her womb.
Muna: Eeeeeew.
Anna: Sorry, still recovering from Taboo.
Josh: I don't know...she may get angry...
Tomo: FUCK THAT! I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THAT SHIT FOR ONE HOUR. Tell her what you feel for fuck's sake.
Josh: Alright...
Josh called his mum and asked her to come.
Josh: She'll be here soon.
Jared: Fine, I'll tell a couple words to that lady.
Shannon: Count me too, Josh you're destroyed man. You need to get back on your feet.
Tomo: For real. And take off this awful jacket, you look like Elvis.
Josh: Uhh...sure sure as you wish sir.
Sophie whispered to Jared: I'm sorry for all this. I can't actually believe the guy has so many mental issues.
Jared stroked Sophie's head.
After some minutes the bell rang.
Shannon: So I play the bad cop & you the good one, Jay?
Jared: No, let's play 2 bad cops.
Tomo: I'll play the good one, no worries.
Muna opened the door. Josh’s mother entered the house. She was very tall, blond & very beautiful. She could be definitely a model.
Jared: Shannon...uh are you sure you want us to play the bad cops?
Shannon: I take it back, we're playing the serious single sexy businessmen.
Malvina: Hello, I am Malvina.
Malvina greeted Jared, Shannon & Tomo.
Shannon: I am very very charmed.
Tomo: Beautiful name.
Jared: Let's go to the living room. Josh is there.
Everyone sat at the sofas in the living room, the grown ups had a drink.
Malvina: So I guess the reason you called me was to meet each other right? Jared you're the dad of Sophie!
Jared: Yes that's me, but we could skip that part, our kids are doing great. Are you married?
Malvina: No, never been. Raised Josh on my own, we are from Europe you know, France. Josh didn't like it there unfortunately.
Shannon: So...you're single.
Malvina: Currently yes. I try to dedicate most of my time with my son. I don't want him to miss anything!
Jared: True, very true. When are we going out for dinner? Uh...I mean...to get to know each other since our kids have such a serious relationship...
Malvina: So is it really serious? Josh used to tell me everything but now. I think I'm losing him.
Malvina shed a tear.
Tomo: What the heck is the tear world day today?
Malvina: What did you say, mister?
Tomo: Never mind, lady. Keep on talking.
Jared: So..?
Malvina: So what?
Jared: When are we going out?
Shannon: Jared I think you are limiting Malvina, I guess she will tell you when she is available.
Malvina: Are you sure, we'll be accepted to any restaurant? I mean your pink hair isn't helping very much.
Shannon started laughing.
Shannon: I still got a normal colour, how about us? I love my little Sophie, maybe I could help with many issues.
Jared: I think someone is getting out of the whole idea.
Shannon; Idea?
Jared smiled.
Jared: Of the serious sexy single businessmen.
Shannon blushed.
Shannon: I don't know what you're talking about, what do you think Malvina?
Malvina: I'd be pleased. Les enfants sont en haut?
Shannon: What?!
Jared; Ha! You don't know French. I do!
Shannon: Seriously? You only know how to say goodnight & good morning!
Malvina: Excuse my impulsiveness, it comes out of my mouth at times. I asked if the kids are upstairs.
Jared: Sure I got that ...yeah they are!
Malvina: Don't you think we should check on them?
Jared: Uh...I'm on my way.
Tomo: People, I need to go. Vicki’s been calling me. Is that alright with you?
Jared: Sure mate, thanks for coming.
Shannon: Goodnight!
Malvina: Nice meeting you!
Tomo said goodbye and returned home.
Jared: So I'm going upstairs to check what the kids are up to.
Jared gave a warning look at Shannon.
Jared went upstairs and headed to Sophie's room. All of them were just lying down or at the bed talking.
Jared: Can I come in?
Sophie: You're too old to come in.
Jared: Sophie, this is not the right time...
Muna: Just get in!
Josh: So how's it going with my...?
Jared: Malvina is absolutely amazing. Don’t know why you have so many problems really.
Josh: Has she started talking about her childhood & studies?
Jared: Uh no, we didn't get that far.
Josh: Just wait on. It’s coming.
Suddenly Malvina started screaming.
Malvina: Ah Ah Ahhhh ahhhhh ahhhhhh oh yeahhhh ahhhh.
Everyone opened his mouth.
Muna: What is uncle doing to Josh's mother?
Josh: DON'T SAY THAT WORD!!!!
Muna: Fine fine ! Dad?
Malvina: .......OH YEAAAAH AAAAAH AHHHHH
Sophie: Dad is uncle banging Josh's...you know?!!!
Anna: JUST DOWNSTAIRS?? HAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Jared: Imma kill him. Josh you look pretty cool. You know my brother is banging your you know who downstairs.
Josh: I'm not really surprised, she does it all the time with all kinds of men.
Jared: ...so she isn't hard?
Josh: Not at all, I feel sorry for your brother, mister Leto.
Jared: THAT'S IT. I’m going down!
Anna: Dad, we're coming with you!!
Jared: I don't think the view will be very pleasant. Stay here.
Jared went downstairs and of course all the girls and Josh secretly followed him.
Jared: GET OFF OF HIM NOW, BITCH!
Jared pulled Malvina off Shannon.
Shannon: Dude I was just about...
Jared: SHUT UP!!!!! Are you having sex in front of my children??
Shannon: Technically I wasn't having sex in front of your children. They were upstairs. And this is my house too.
Anna: Yes, but technically she was shouting so we could technically listen to her screams of pleasure.
Sophie: That was too poetic, Anna.
Anna: Thank you darling.
Josh: Shit mmm-mmm----mum you embarrassed me once again. I love this girl and you hit on her uncle?!
Malvina: Oh mon dieu, josh tais-toi!!
Josh: No, I WON'T SHUT UP! You always act like a whore, you want to turn me into a male Malvina, I HATE YOU!
Jared to Shannon: Psst how was she?
Shannon: Could be better to be honest with you.
Jared: Just a question, why do we always have to be such a mess in this house? I mean, is Obama coming tomorrow here or something? There's always this chaos in this family.
Shannon: There’s this curse...
Muna: What kind of curse?
Shannon: I don't know really, someone posted it on Twitter and I copy pasted it.
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