CHAPTER 11
A relaxing evening in the Leto mansion, Shannon was lying back on the couch.Muna: What's up, uncle, are you dead or something?
Shannon: No, just bored.Extremely bored.Feeling so useless today.
Muna: Well...everything happens for a reason, right?
Shannon turned his head to Muna.
Anna went down the stairs, laughing.
Anna shouting: PEOPLE !!!
Anna saw Shannon and Muna.
Anna: Where are dad and Sophie?
Muna: They are out for a bit, they wanted to do some shopping I think.But they'll be back soon, why?
Anna: OH MY GOD, I just won tickets for the Curlmania fun park! DUDE THAT'S SO EXPENSIVE BUT AMAZING.We could all go and have some fun! Got many tickets!
Shannon: Sweetheart, we can go in a few days, now it's already 7 o'clock...
Anna: Well that's the thing.They are only for today.That's why I'm screaming like a fuck!
Shannon: Anna...!
Anna: Yeah well...anyone can call dad? We could tell Tomo to come too, bet he will love it!
At that moment, Jared and Sophie entered the mansion.
Jared: Hello, hello! How come you're all gathered together and annoyingly...silent?
Anna: Dad, I just won tickets for the Curlmania fun park, but they are only for today.WE SHOULD GO PLEASE!!
Muna: Dad, it'll be cool.Besides hey it's free!
Sophie: I'm in!
Jared: What do you say, man?
Shannon: Well those little girls got some energy for it...let's not break it down, right?
Jared: Alright, everyone get ready! In 15 minutes, you all gotta be ready!
Shannon: Wait, what? YOU will be ready in 15 minutes? Man, this has never happened, and I know you since you were born, I swear.
Muna: Yeah dad, he is right.I mean, it's okay, we already know that we will wait for you at least one hour.But it's alright, really...
Jared looked at Sophie.
Sophie: Well guys, for the first time in the Mars history, dad has already the outfit he's gonna wear on his mind.
Anna: What are you talking about?
Jared took a box out of the bag he was holding.
Shannon: Whoah man, what is that? We're not going snowboarding, dude.
Jared showed the poncho to everyone.
Jared: Isn't it amazing? I am in love with it.
Anna looked at Sophie.
Anna: You seriously let him buy this?
Sophie: Why? It's cool, I mean....yeah I like it.It's fun that dad is getting that 'Lady Gaga syndrome'.We will all start wondering 'What is he gonna wear tonight?' from now on, I'm sure.
Shannon took a deep breath.
Shannon: Can we just go? I will call Tomo too.
Everyone got ready for the fun park night-out and got in the car.Jared was wearing the poncho he had just bought.They started driving.
Muna: I feel so nice now, really.
Anna: Why is that?
Muna: Because now I know where to hide everytime mrs Marple looks out for us.Under dad's poncho!
Everyone laughed except Jared.
Jared: Ha-ha...FU-NNY.
After some minutes, they arrived at the fun park.
Sophie: So where's Tomo?
Shannon: Ah I told him to meet us at the entrance.Now where the....oh there he is!
They waved at Tomo and he said hello to everyone.Also hugged the girls.
Tomo: WHO'S READY FOR SOME MOFO FUN TONIGHT?!
Girls: ME!!
They entered the fun park.
Jared: So, what are we trying first?
Sophie: Let's start with the Crazy Mouse!
Anna: Yeah, that'd be cool.We'll wake up a bit!
Tomo: What about Big Apple?
Everyone gave a strange look at Tomo.
Shannon: Tomo wake up, dude.This is for that baby's diaper over there.
Tomo: Well alright..
They got in the Crazy Mouse ride.
Tomo: So are we sure this is safe...?
Jared: Relax yourself.If you are about to die, you will die anyway.Don't think about it twice.
Tomo swallowed & Jared smiled at him.
A voice shouted: THREE, TWO....ONE....GO!
The little coaster started fast and the girls were screaming madly while Shannon and Jared were laughing.Tomo had his mouth opened.
Tomo shouted: ARE WE SERIOUSLY GONNA ASCEND THAT??
Muna: OH COME ON TOMO...AAAAAAAH
Tomo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH
Jared and Shannon kept on laughing with Tomo's face expressions.
After the ride was over, Tomo started jumping all around.
Tomo: Wow man, that was cool.Pretty....childish though don't you think?
Jared looked at Tomo.
Jared: So you want something more hardcore?
Tomo: Well...NOT NOW...I mean I've done all of them like a millions of times but in general yeah I'm the hardcore guy.
Shannon: Why don't we get on that rollercoaster, peeps?
Shannon pointed the biggest rollercoaster in the fun park.
Sophie: Uh..are you sure you haven't eaten something in the last...eh...5 days or something?
Anna: Oh come on, if we throw up, we will throw up in the air, WHAT?! You won't even feel it.
Jared,Shannon and Tomo made a disgusting expression.
Tomo: Sophie has a point, we will all throw up there....Sophie, you're right, kid, we shouldn't go..
Sophie: No, actually I'm up for it!
Muna: YEEEEEES, LET'S GO! Dad?!
Jared: I'm in, kids!
Anna held Tomo's hand.
Anna: Come on, Mofo....it's gonna be crazy up there...
Shannon: It's alright, Anna, let him go, we will get up on that thing and will have the time of our lives.
Shannon winked at Anna.
Tomo: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, but if I puke, I'll make sure to puke on your face, Shan.
Shannon: CAN'T WAIT!
The girls smiled, and they got on the rollercoaster in pairs: Jared with Muna, Shannon with Sophie, Anna with Tomo.
While they were all waiting for the rollercoaster to start, a big screen appeared with a crazy scientist, giving them a 'message'.
"So you decided you're brave enough to get on that rollercoaster...alright then, let's see how FEARLESS YOU ARE.But I can promise you, not all people come out alive from this.'
The scientist started laughing and the big screen got turned off.
Tomo: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
Jared: Come on man, it's part of the game.
Muna: Well I'm starting to get scared..
Jared: Relax, hunnie. It will take only a couple of minutes.
Tomo: That's A LONG TIME IN THAT SH....!
Tomo didn't have the time to finish his sentence because the rollercoaster started.They were going back and forth, upside-down, and so fast.
The girls were screaming non-stop.
Muna: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Tomo: OH MY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIT, AAAAAAAAAAAH, WE'RE GOING UP.....UHHHHHHHHHH, I'M DYING, I WON'T GET OUT ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE, AAAAAAAAAH.
Jared was laughing hysterically.
Tomo: JARED I WILL KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLL YOUUUUUU
Jared: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Tomo: STOOOOOOOOOOOOP LAUGHINGGGGGGGGGGG
Jared louder: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Tomo: AREEEEEEEEEEEE YOU ON DRUUUUUUGS ???
Jared even louder: HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA
Tomo: SHAAAAAAAAAAANNON, AAAAAAAAAAH WTF! SHAAAAAAANNON I WILL KIIIIIILL YOU TOOOOOOO
Shannon didn't respond.The rollercoaster suddenly stop at the top of it.
Tomo: WHAT HAPPENED?!
Anna: Can you just STOP talking? That is part of the game.Just don't look down...
Tomo: Shannon? Eeeh Shannon, man?
Sophie: Actually guys...Our uncle is...sleeping.
Jared: Hahahahhahahahahahaahahahahahahhaa
Muna: Dad, can you stop laughing for a second?!
Jared: HAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T HAHAHAHAHAHA, SHANNON IS SLEEPING ON THE ROLLERCOASTER HAHAHAHHAHAHAA
Sophie: Well that's weird indeed, where is uncle's adrenaline?!!
Jared: Sorry I JUST AHAHAHAHAH I JUST NEED TO TWEET THAT HAHAHAHHAAHHA
Muna? NOW?!!! We'll start in a bit!
Jared: Hahahhahahahaha wait wait, just a sec, I need to take a picture of your uncle..
Jared took a picture of Shannon sleeping with his Blackberry.
Jared: Now I'll tweet it and I'm set, SEE?
Suddenly the rollercoaster started and Jared accidentally dropped the Blackberry from his hands.
Jared: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tomo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA NOW WHO LAUGHS BEST HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Jared: HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUCK MY BLACKBERRYYYYYYYYYYYY, GODDAAAAAAAAAAMN SHIIIIIIIIT
Tomo: HAHAHAHAHHAHAAH OHHHH DAMN, WE'RE GOING UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Sophie: GIRLS! REMIND ME TO NEVER LET MYSELF GO TO A FUNPARK WITH THOSE PEOPLE!!
Muna and Anna: SUUUUUUUURE!
After the ride was over, Sophie woke up Shannon.Tomo was counting his pulse rate, Jared was cursing and Muna with Anna were checking up on some two hot dudes.
Sophie: So are we going home?
Tomo: Already lost my heart twice today, no need for a third time.Only if you want us to go to the Big Apple...
Jared started whining.
Jared: I lost my Blackberry...!!!
Anna: Oh damn, we will live a tragedy tonight at home.
Jared kept on whining.
Shannon: Hmmmm, so what's the plan?
Sophie: Oh dude, the man is up.We're heading home, captain.
Shannon: WHAT? Why?
Sophie: Because in the next ride, you will be also snoring.Come on, let's go!
Shannon: Oh...I just took a little nap.
Tomo stopped walking.
Tomo: NAP?! You call this a nap, your best friend was about to get a heart-attack and your brother lost his Blackberry.Listen to that one, JARED LOST HIS BLACKBERRY.The speed of the rollercoaster was touching the speed of light, the girls were screaming as they had just seen Brad Pitt peeing in front of them and I was fucking screaming, AND YOU TOOK A LITTLE NAP?! Dude Godzilla has a lighter 'nap' than YOU!
Suddenly Jared stopped whining but started laughing again like crazy.
Jared: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAA
Shannon to Tomo: Why do you always have to push Jared's laughing button? Seriously, man I was tired!
Tomo: I won't even comment on that.And you dude, Jared, stop laughing.You just lost your BLACK-BERRY.
Jared looked at Tomo and then started whining AGAIN.
Jared drove the family all the way home, while Tomo drove his own car back to his house.
Shannon, Jared, and the girls arrived at home some time later.
Jared entered the house first.Shannon and the girls followed him.Suddenly they heard footsteps from upstairs.They whispered:
Anna : Dad....what is that?
Jared: I don't know...don't turn on the lights though.
Shannon: Should I go and check out?
Jared: It's not the right time to be heroic, Shan, stand here.Girls, go out! And wait for us here.
Sophie: What are you talking about, we can't leave...y..
Jared: SSSSH, someone is in the house.The footsteps are getting heavier.
Shannon: Dude, I got an idea, come in with me.
Jared followed Shannon and so did the girls.
Shannon: Follow me here..
Shannon went down to the basement and opened a little door.
Jared: What exactly are you looking for in there?!
Anna: HURRY UP, they are stealing our belongings right now!!!
Muna: Fuckers..
Jared: Sssshh.
Shannon: Alright , alright, let's equip the army.Jared here you are.
Shannon gave Jared a sweeper.
Jared: What am I supposed to do with that?
Shannon: Hit the enemy of course! Take that long stick too and stick it to it!
Jared did as his brother told him.
Shannon: Muna, take the window cleaner here..
Muna: That's chemical!
Shannon: Of course! You will throw it to his eyes if he attacks you! Anna, you take the tub & tile cleaner...ouch that must be heavy.
Anna: COOL, gonna kick his ass!
Jared: Well if I haven't gone deaf yet, think it's not just one...
Sophie: And what should I take?
Shannon: Oh Sophie...emm..you'll take the bucket!
Sophie: What will I do with the...bucket?
Shannon: It's a great weapon! You can hit'em everywhere or also wear it on their head while Jared hits him with the sweeper.Wow sounds cool.
Muna: I'm really getting scared, what if they have GUNS!
Jared: Sshh relax sweetheart....Shannon I insist that it should be only you and me.
Sophie: No it's alright, we'll come.Let's go!
They slowly went up the stairs while they could listen to the drawer in Jared's bedroom opening and closing again and again.
Jared: Wait here.
Jared did a few steps forward.He tried to take a look at the thieves.After some seconds, he finally saw them.They were two men.One thin guy and one fat guy.They didn't look smart at all, they were just searching the bedroom fast.
Jared stepped back.
Jared: Alright, those guys look as silly as stones.So what are we gonna do?
Anna: Well we haven't done the most logical thing so far, oh yes to call the police, so what remains is to attack those motherfuckers.
Shannon: Yeah come on, I'm ready for it.
Jared: Yeah yeah, just don't fall asleep again.
The girls tried not to laugh.
Jared: I got a plan.Everyone go and hide behind my bedroom's door now!
Everyone followed Jared's instructions.
Jared said loudly: Hahahaha, yes Shannon, my best friend shot the guy and IMAGINE, he left the gun here.It's FULLY L-O-A-D-E-D...Damn that fucker, uh?!
The thieves looked at each other, terrified and stood still.
Jared: ...I really wouldn't hesitate shooting someone who would break into my house or hurt my girls.You know what I'm saying, Shannon?
Shannon loudly: I AGREE WITH YOU JARED, OF COURSE!
Jared nodded Shannon to keep a lower tone.
Jared: So, Shannon, you're going out, right? I don't wanna sleep yet, so I'll be DOWNSTAIRS watching some TV.
Shannon: Alright, man! See you later!
The thieves heard the conversation and agreed to leave the room.However they didn't know what was behind the bedroom's door.
Muna jumped on them and started pulling their long hair.Anna was throwing chemicals all over their body and Sophie was hitting them with the bucket.
Sophie: Motherfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucker! DANG!
Shannon had brough the vacuum with him.Jared was hitting them with the sweeper.They were pretty big compared to Jared.
Jared: Uhhh, FUCK YOU, UH YEAH.Shan, why you brought THE VACUUM with you?
Shannon turned on the vacuum.
Shannon: THAT'S WHY MAN!
Shannon was using the vacuum all over the body.
Shannon and Jared started laughing.
Fat thief: Please please stop, we don't wanna hurt anyone.
Jared got pissed off and grabbed him from the neck and sticked him to the wall.
Jared: Oh really? What if I weren't there with my brother? What if my girls got in the house, what would you do to them? Would you tell them the same thing?
Thin thief: We wou...
Jared: YOU SHUT UP!
Thin thief: Oh bloody hell, you were playing in the Panic Room! You're an actor!
The thin thief laughed.
Jared: No wonder you know the specific movie.And the specific role, fucker.
Shannon: Jared, can I just....throw him out of the window or something? He gets on my nerves.
Anna: Won't we call the police?
Jared looked at Anna.Then he looked at the girls.
Jared: What would you do if you were me?
Anna: I would call the police.
Muna looked at Sophie.
Muna: I would let them go....
Sophie: Yes me too.Besides dad, I think you're not in the mood for all that fuss right now...and so are we.
Fat thief: Thank you, thank you....
Shannon: Fuck it Jared, just let them go.
Jared took a deep breath.
Jared: Alright, when I count to three, you'll be gone.But before you live, you (pointing the fat thief) should stop hanging out with that wanker.You're not a bad man.
The girls looked down.
Fat thief: I promise, I promise.I have never done this before I swear.
He got down on Jared's knees.
Jared: For God's sake, just go, alright?!
The two thieves dissapeared in a blink of an eye.
Everyone sighed.
Jared: Now this is when I say...WHAT THE FUCKERY WAS THAT.
Anna: Shame it wasn't Tomo here with us!
Muna: I would have definitely put that bucket on his head!
Muna laughed.
Sophie: No, I think he'd use the bucket differently.
Shannon: How?
Sophie: He'd throw up in it.
Everyone laughed.
Muna: Oh my God, our dad is laughing!!!
Jared: Why...why shouldn't I?
Muna: Dad you just lost your....BLACKBERRY.
Jared: OH SHIT.
And Jared got down on his knees, whining again.
Shannon: Alright girls, to your beds.Leave your dad alone, tonight he had a serious family loss.
